“Domine, non sum dignus ut intres sub tectum meum, sed tantum dic verbo et sanabitur anima mea.”
“Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.”
These words, which are said in the Mass, now have a much different meaning to me. As I rest before I return to my wifely duties (making dinner), I have a few moments to myself. My husband has taken the children for a few hours to run some errands and I sit here on the couch in my living room, basking in the dead of silence in my home. I felt called to actually sit for a few moments and get in touch with the Lord.
As soon as I sat, I thought, “today, Jesus was in my home. He was actually present here, in the flesh.” Immediately following that thought, I was brought to those words…“Lord I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof.” That is exactly what today brought. It is also exactly what last Saturday brought.
Weekly Blessings
We have been blessed with two priests coming to visit us in the span of a week. Both priests said Mass in our home. This was a new experience for our family. I am almost 50, am a cradle Catholic, and have never had Mass said in my home. In fact, growing up, I was very scared of priests. I did everything I could to avoid having to speak to a priest. I don’t know why, it was just an interior fear that grew from nothing that I can think of. In fact, Charlotte mentioned this morning she was afraid of priests.
I have no idea why. We were always around priests since she was little. At our Colorado parish, we spent alot of time with them and would have them in our home for dinner at least once a quarter. It seems she should have no reason to fear them, yet she says she does. In the past, I have met some not so friendly priests but since we have transitioned to the Traditional side (5 years now), all of the priests we have met and spend time with are friendly.
I have come a long way on my spiritual journey. I now enjoy inviting priests over and cooking for them. In fact, I chose our new home for a feature it has. There is an attic and part of it looks like it would make a perfect chapel. I would like to turn that attic space into a chapel. Then I would like to make part of the property a “retreat” house for priests. I don’t know if this will ever come to fruition, though I pray it does. So, this is a long way from the little girl who feared priests.
Mass in our Home
Mass today was a low Mass. This is not my favorite Mass, as I love the singing of the High Mass. However, it would be difficult to have a high Mass without my husband and/or son knowing how to serve and of course, someone to sing the Mass. The Lord blessed me though. I find the low Mass serves as a way to deepen my knowledge. of where we are in the liturgy. In turn, I feel I am getting closer to God through this worship.
A non-Catholic may ask, “How was Jesus in the flesh in your home?” During the Mass, the bread and wine are transubstantiated into the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Our Lord Jesus Christ. So, because Mass was said in our home, Jesus was here in the flesh.
The Experience
I would like to say that we experienced some kind Divine joy, ecstasy, or something spectacular. But it was just like any other Mass. My home feels relatively the same as it did before but in my mind, I know Jesus was here. Jesus was here in a way He has never been. This is as close to Heaven as I will get in my own home.
Going to Mass at our parish brings about other elements of worship; ie., the statues, stained glass (at my prior parish), incense, organ, singing, more candles, color/paint, etc. My home is missing most of those elements but the Mass (specifically the Traditional Latin Mass), no matter where it is said, is always the same. It is unchanging. Because I am slowly developing a liking for the Latin Mass, I knew where we were in the liturgy at every moment. In addition, it was such an intimate environment, I could hear more of what the priest was saying than when I am in the church.
I realize there may be someone who attends the Novus Ordo reading this blog. I also realize that they may disagree with my statement that only the Traditional Latin Mass is unchanging. My statement is not said to hurt or cause division. I too, attended Novus Ordo for most of my life and I never experienced changes in the liturgy…until I did. So while some may attend an “unchanging Novus Ordo,” all of them aren’t the same. One reason is the priest has four different Eucharistic prayers they can choose from in the Novus Ordo. This is not so in the TLM. I don’t want this post to be about that division; yet it’s important to make the distinction.
The Lesson
I hope all of you will one day get to experience the Mass in your home. No one in my home was worthy enough for the Lord to enter under our roof, yet Jesus did just that today. Jesus was present in our home, in the flesh. This home is blessed beyond measure and it’s important to continue allowing our faith to blossom in this home.
Thank you Lord Jesus for this blessing. May it lead all of our hearts and minds closer to you, forever and ever. Amen.