early pregnancy testMany women are hesitant to announce their pregnancy early. Some wait until a blood test confirms. Others wait until they see a heartbeat. Some wait until they are twelve weeks and beyond but why? Isn’t a line a line? Doesn’t pregnant mean pregnant?

Here is an early pregnancy test. It was taken 11 days after ovulation. The second line is faint but there is no doubt a line. The second line signifies pregnancy. It’s a positive pregnancy test. A line is a line right?

Well, that depends. It’s a cautiously optimistic line. This pregnancy test detects HCG in the urine at 20miU. So the line doesn’t determine the “level” in pregnancy, just that the level is high enough to show a line. Some want the line dark and a test the next day may reveal a darker line but it may not. Every test is different. So, a line is a line. PREGNANT.

“I am pregnant,” she announces.

The next response is…”How far along are you?”

Why is that question asked? Does it mean that if I am 3 weeks pregnant that I am not “pregnant enough?” Is 5 weeks along “pregnant enough?” What about 8 weeks? Is that “pregnant enough?” For those of you who are announcing an early pregnancy, did you feel compelled to lie about it? Did you feel compelled to say you were farther along then you really were? Why?

I know I did this. I know I told people I was farther along in order to justify my pregnancy. But what am I really justifying? I think it’s grief. I think we justify the pregnancy in order to justify the grief we could experience should we have a miscarriage. A line is a line.

We shouldn’t feel like we need to justify our grief but we do, because we know we will probably suffer in silence. Announcing an early pregnancy is hard. It comes with excitement and anxiety. The moment we pee on the stick, we start dreaming and imagining a life with this child. But the toilet paper checks begin…immediately.

It’s okay. A line is a line. Go ahead and announce. Announce it to the world or whoever you want to and if your baby doesn’t survive; if your baby dies through miscarriage or stillbirth, it doesn’t change the fact that a line is a line. You are pregnant, in this moment. It’s okay to share. It’s okay to be happy. It’s okay to be anxious. You are pregnant.

UPDATE: This was my pregnancy test, taken on March 27th, 2015. My HCG level was 32.

– Breaking the silence of First Trimester Miscarriage