Elizabeth Petrucelli

Author, Blogger, Educator

Category: Publicity

New Miscarriage Book Coming Soon!

January 22, 2015 /

I have been very quiet this month and I apologize for that. I try to get one post in per week and I have been overwhelmed with a new book that I am about to publish. You are getting the details here first! I haven’t shared much with others.

This book wasn’t a book that I had ever thought about writing. All That is Seen and Unseen; A Journey Through a First Trimester Miscarriage, has been placed in many miscarriage packets and has been utilized by so many newly grieving mothers but my goals for 2015 and where I want Dragonflies For Ruby to go, has become a focus of mine.

After I attended Love Wildly, sponsored by Stillbirthday, in December, I knew I needed to push this book out. Love Wildly was an amazing experience and I learned so much from all the women there. I was inspired and drawn back to my original goal of helping women through miscarriage. Therefore, I began to write a new Miscarriage Handbook. One that would be more appropriate for the miscarriage packets and did not contain a personal story.

Women need a book, something tangible to hold when they learn their baby has died or they are experiencing miscarriage, not a stack of papers to file. Women need a book that explains all their options, what they might experience, how their partner might feel, how their living children might feel, as well as ways to bond and remember their very tiny baby. The Miscarriage Book is as inclusive as I could make it and has basic “discharge instructions” as well as warning signs which instruct them to call their doctor.

I am very excited to announce my new book: It’s Not “Just” a Heavy Period; The Miscarriage Handbook. It is scheduled to release on March 17, 2015 which will be five years from the day we learned we were pregnant with Ruby Josephine. It also happens to be St. Patrick’s Day.

Without further adieu, I introduce to you:

The Miscarriage Handbook, It’s Not “Just” a Heavy Period, helps women understand what they may experience when they learn their baby has died or are experiencing a miscarriage. This book is the ultimate resource on miscarriage for caregivers, mothers, families and friends. With help, everyone involved can understand warning signs during miscarriage; what to expect; the options for delivery; choosing a final resting place for the physical form of the baby; after care; and grief, mourning and memorializing.

This book also gives readers ideas on how to tell their family and friends, how others may react including their partner, and a guide for family and friends on how they can help including what to say/not say. Tear outs are included which can help the grieving family share their needs with others. This book encompasses all aspects of the miscarriage experience.

It's Not "Just" a Heavy Period; The Miscarriage Handbook

Pre-order your copy(ies) at elizabethpetrucelli.com or at Amazon.com. All other formats will be available on March 17th, 2015. Bulk discounts are available.

– Breaking the silence of First Trimester Miscarriage


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Candlelight Vigil to Remember Babies

October 30, 2014 /

On October 15th, 2014 at 7pm, families gathered for a Candlelight Vigil and Remembrance at Rock A My Baby Family Enrichment Center in Castle Rock, CO to remember and honor babies who were lost to miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS and other reasons. The event was hosted by Dragonflies For Ruby in coordination with Rock A My Baby. This was the 2nd annual event where families traveled from across Colorado to attend, some traveling more than an hour to light a special candle for their loved ones. October was deemed Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month by President Ronald Reagan in 1988 but October 15th was deemed Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in 2006 through House Resolution H.CON. RES. 222 which Robyn Bear of Remembering Our Babies worked diligently to achieve.

The night began with families finding their loved one’s candle and meeting inside the yoga studio attached to the enrichment center. Families sat quietly as young children toddled around and giggled from time to time. The scent of warm apple cider emanated throughout the center.

After all the families had gathered their candles and remembrance cards, Kelli O’Brien and myself began the ceremony by thanking everyone for coming. My son, Joseph, shared his story about his baby sister, Ruby. Several poems were read before the names of 56 babies and children were announced; the names we all gathered to remember. After the names were read, a father shared the beautiful story of his daughters short life and death. It was a touching story and it was amazing to see a father step forward to share. Once his story was finished, another mother came forward to share the story of her baby who died from miscarriage. It was beautiful to have families sharing their stories. A picture was taken of all the families and then the candle lighting began on the deck to the center.

As all the candles were lit, families took pictures of their candles, shared stories, and sat in silence. The candles were placed in the form of two hearts. A small heart encased by a large heart.

As my family stood in silence, Timmy, my rainbow baby, ran over to me and tugged at my pant legs. I picked him up gently and held him in my arms. Timmy leaned in and gave me a kiss on the lips. It was unexpected and yet so perfect. My heart leapt with joy. Timmy doesn’t usually kiss anyone without prompting but somehow, he knew I needed a kiss. The night was so overwhelming and my heart was full of love for all the families that were there, I think he just knew. The tears I shed were happy tears.

After conversing with families, the event came to a close. I hesitated to blow out the candles but we needed to wrap things up and head home. As all the candles became dark, I felt humbled and fulfilled. I am looking forward to the event next year and plans are already being created so that siblings can participate more fully. Hope to see you all there next year!

– Breaking the silence of First Trimester Miscarriage

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The annual Walk to Remember

September 29, 2013 /

Ruby Josephine's Balloon TagOn September 28, 2013, we attended the annual Walk to Remember. This has become our annual memorial remembrance for Ruby Josephine. I dreaded the early morning wake up and rush out the door but I really wanted to attend. There was a moment where I felt like backing out but I am so glad we went.

I got up super early and made breakfast for my sleeping family. It was very nice having the quiet house to myself while I prepared for the emotional morning. As breakfast was baking in the oven, I took to my pump so I could be sure I had enough milk for Timmy the entire day.

We needed to be at the park before 9:45am so I woke Jason just after 8am. From there, we pretty much had to rush to get out the door in time to make it. We had a 45 minute drive ahead of us. I ensured all was packed, including three bags of breastmilk (about 1 gallon) that I was donating to a woman in need at the end of the walk.

Joey got up just a few minutes before we had to leave and didn’t complain once. I was very happy about that as I usually get some flack from him when we have to wake up early. Timmy got up and dressed with me just a few minutes before Joey got up. Timmy was his usual happy and smiley self. We are truly blessed.

We made it to the Walk in time for me to be dropped off at pre-registration and get us registered. Jason went to park the car while Joey, Timmy, and I waited in line to get our balloons. We were meeting some friends there. She is the blogger for Moonbeam Lullabies. We attended the walk together last year as well.

Jason parked the car and met us in the line for balloons. It was a really long line and didn’t seem nearly as organized as it was last year. I asked Jason if he wouldn’t mind getting the balloons while I found our friends and waited with them. It seemed so rushed. I was beginning to regret showing up so close to the event time. I really would have liked to take my time. I found them on the east side of the stage and waited for Jason and Joey to return with the balloons.Elizabeth Petrucelli with Rainbow Baby

I talked with my friend and cooed at her rainbow baby as well while I waited. Soon, Jason and Joey returned with four red balloons. We always have red ones to symbolize Ruby. There would be one balloon for each of us.

As we stood there, placing Ruby’s tags on the balloon, the song Held, by Natalie Grant was broadcasted over the speakers. I told Jason this was the song that I listened to endlessly after we lost her. You can read about the song here. I wasn’t prepared for what happened next. I began to hear Jason’s nose running. Was he crying or just trying to clear his nose? It only took a few seconds for me to realize that this was just as emotional for him as it was for me.

I had been trying so hard to be “strong” and not cry this year but I couldn’t keep it in. I held the balloons as he placed the tags on each one of the strings. As soon as he was done, I just hugged him and held on while the rest of the song played. We both cried together, knowing what we had lost. Missing what we had lost. Yearning for what we had lost.Ruby Josephine's Memorial Balloons

As the ceremony continued, we waited patiently for Ruby’s name to be read. Once it was, we released our balloons. Four balloons lifted high into the sky. We watched as they swayed from one side to another. In between names, there was silence but the silence was filled with the fluttering sound of balloons. There was a breeze that morning and balloons bounced into each other. It was very beautiful. Jason and I held each other as we imagined the balloons rising into the Heaven above to greet Ruby and let her know how much we loved and missed her.

After all the names had been read, we walked around the lake at Clement Park and then had lunch with our friends. The Walk to Remember symbolizes so much for us. Not only is it a day to memorialize and remember our own lost daughter, it is a day of celebration for the new life that was growing inside me on the same day in 2012. We celebrate the discovery that we had been blessed with our rainbow baby. That blog post can be found here.

Childless ParentsThere is one thought that Jason made to me that really made me sad. It was his statement and thoughts about childless parents. Childless parents are those that have lost children but have no living children on Earth. Our hearts wept for these parents. Parents who either were blessed with a whisper of a moment with their child or those who never held their child’s hand. Jason could seek refuge for his pain within his own children; feeling blessed that he has someone on this Earth to love and hold but childless parents don’t. My heart still aches for them. I do not know if the couple shown here were childless parents or not but I was drawn to them several times that I HAD to take a photo. I do not know who they are.

If you have never attended such an event, I highly encourage you to do so. There is so much love and support no matter when your loss was. If you never named your baby, you can simply have your baby’s name read as “Baby (insert last name).”  There were many people there that did that. We will be attending next year’s Walk to Remember. I will have my book on display in the Bereavement Pavilion again. I hope to see all of you there!

Criticism about my book

August 11, 2012 /

I have been waiting for the criticism about my book and finally found it, although it happened two months ago. I was checking SEO stuff on my book when I came across a follow-up post on “The Broken Ovary,” a website dedicated to helping women who suffer from PCOS. Since I am a person who also has PCOS, I joined the forums there. As written in my book, I am also a part of SoulCysters. At one point, SoulCysters was having major issues staying live on the internet and many women bailed for The Broken Ovary.

I too, wanted to maintain contact with my online friends and moved over to The Broken Ovary and posted a few times there but also posted about my book since there was a new website I could relate to and offer support to women who lost their babies.

I created my post, “New book on First Trimester Miscarriage,” and provided an overview of the book. When my book was reviewed so eloquently by www.stillbirthday.com, I posted her review as well…with her permission. Then, the criticism started.

The first reply by someone with the name “Split Personality,” said, “I just don’t understand how you can get an entire novel from an early miscarriage. An article? Sure. An essay? Maybe. But, a chapter book? Seems a little OTT.” I had to look up what OTT meant. She must be younger than me. OTT means “Over The Top.” WOW, I feel old for sure. I used to think I was pretty savvy with the internet slang but is has changed dramatically since 1995. LOL!!

There was a follow-up post by someone stating that “Split Personality” was rude and another post asking how I knew my baby was a girl. Then the arguement began. It didn’t take long before the moderator jumped in an squashed the whole debate which lasted about 15 posts. There were some positives and negatives but my guess is, “Split Personality” hasn’t lost a baby because she couldn’t understand, just like I couldn’t understand until I lost Ruby.

I responded this morning offering my book for free to her and others on the board who both criticized and supported my post. Most of it seemed to circle around my self-promotion which is sad because the purpose of promoting is to get the word out about this helpful book. If I don’t promote it, no one knows about it and I want people to know about the book. I have only “spammed” where I was allowed to. I ask for permission and if I post, I was granted permission to post there, otherwise, I post in the areas designed for marketing.

I am sure some are under the impression I am making a boatload of money of the book; as if it’s some best seller and I am raking in the dough by marketing or sensationalizing my loss. Ugh! So far from the truth. I challenge people who feel that way to read it. The book is purely about helping women through such a loss.A few of the posts talked about how they have the “right” to judge and criticize the book since I put it out there and they are right, but I can also come back and explain. I don’t need to defend but I WILL try to help them understand. Unfortunately, I feel “Split Personality” and a few others are closed-minded and explanations won’t help.

So, I close with…I knew there would be criticism. Glad this is the only one I have found so far because ALL of the feedback I received before this was how amazing the book was and how thankful they were that I wrote it. I am so proud to have written it, even though I have put myself out there to be torn into so many emotional pieces and to have judgment passed.I know the Lord guided me to write this book so I draw upon his strength to keep marketing it.

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