We officially moved! The exclamation is as if it’s been a happy move but to be honest, it hasn’t been. This has been one of the more difficult times of my life. I didn’t know what to expect, but I thought there would be more joy. It’s been a month since we made the move…
Tag: grief
The Death of Suffering
WARNING: This is deep and is about abortion. It is not a popular opinion. “I chose to deliver Embree on April 25, 2016 via c-section. I chose late-term abortion. I did so because it was the only way I could hold my baby girl while she was still alive. It was the only way I…
Grieving Your Last Child
I thought I was done having children. I really did. After Gus died in 2015, we had decided that he would be our last. He was supposed to be our last anyway. He was supposed to be the child that brought three children to our kitchen table. I grieved his death but I grieved so…
Comparing Loss Serves No One
“Comparing Loss Serves No One” was originally published on December 2, 2015 at Doula Spot. Recently in a group, bereaved mothers were comparing the pain they experienced based on the age of their baby. One woman shared she had miscarriages so her pain could not be nearly as painful as a friend who had lost…
On this day, May 11
Last year, he was born on May 11. Silent and still on the ultrasound just days before, we knew his birth was inevitable. It was devastating. Our 4th and thought-to-be last child, gone so quickly. We were so excited to be pregnant with him, naturally and at our age. It was a miracle. But he was…
Antidepressants for Pregnancy Loss
Antidepressants are being prescribed by obstetricians to women who have experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth. Several of my clients have left the hospital with a prescription for an antidepressant and a few have questioned why. I have been scolded for my stance on this and told that prescribing antidepressants is very productive and should be…
Loss Mothers Come in All Shapes and Sizes
This is a loss mother. Can you believe it? This tiny hummingbird is a loss mother. She herself, is about the size of a 12-week fetus (aka baby). The egg which contained her baby, was the size of a kidney bean or an 8-week embryo (aka baby). Here she is, sitting on her nest. The…
Miscarriage Series – Day 3
I wake very early on this Saturday morning. My husband is working today and his retreat from the bed wakes me. I feel I cannot sleep there without him. I toss and turn a few times to no avail. I see flashes of light coming through our bedroom windows followed by the sweet rumbling of…
Acceptance
So, what does this picture of the name Timmy on the door to his room have to do with acceptance? I realized several weeks ago that my house is virtually empty of anything representing Timmy. Why? Am I too busy? Is this second child syndrome? Am I afraid? I don’t know. What I DO know…
You are NOT alone! You are normal!
I learned today that I am NORMAL! I am NOT alone in my feelings about my new baby following my pregnancy loss. It was so comforting to learn that. I had the feeling that my emotions were normal but I really needed to hear this. Did you know that if you have experienced a pregnancy…