I wake very early on this Saturday morning. My husband is working today and his retreat from the bed wakes me. I feel I cannot sleep there without him. I toss and turn a few times to no avail. I see flashes of light coming through our bedroom windows followed by the sweet rumbling of…
Category: grief
Miscarriage Series – Day 2
I made breakfast, noting that I didn’t feel like continuing with my morning ritual of two glasses of water. Why would I drink two glasses straight away this morning? There is no one inside me who will benefit from this sustenance. I notice that my upper back hurts. “It’s probably my kidneys,” I think to…
Miscarriage Series – Day 1
My midwife turned to me and said, “I’m sorry Elizabeth, I no longer see a heartbeat.” We both knew what that meant. She was gentle and empathetic. It looked like this pained her too. That was comforting. I tried to comprehend what was taking place. There were no tears, not yet. Just questions and acceptance…
Miscarriage Series – The Beginning
My cycles are very long. I used to not have cycles at all but Timmy somehow made my PCOS disappear and I became fertile six months after his birth. It took me nearly a year to decide I wanted another baby. After all, I swore Timmy would be my last. In fact, I was so…
Miscarriage Series – Another Goodbye
As I lie on the couch, completely exhausted and numb from the days events, I feel stinging on the side of my face. The stinging runs down my face and onto my cheek. It hurts. It feels like my face is being burned deep into my skin. I reach across my face and wipe the tears…
Police Brutality?
Let’s change gears here for a moment. As many of you know, I have a background in law enforcement and security. I spent many years studying criminal justice and served as a reserve police officer for several years. I was responsible for a hospital security program for over three years and worked as a security officer…
Dear Doctor: What I Wish You Knew About Progesterone Supplementation
Dear Doctor (Part 1), I heard you say, “You haven’t had enough miscarriages yet,” to warrant the progesterone supplementation my body and baby needs. How much heartache must I endure to receive what we already know is lacking? Why must you make this issue so difficult and painful? All it takes is a push of…
International Bereaved Mother’s Day 2015
It’s International Bereaved Mother’s Day. This day was started by the amazing Carly Marie who lives in Australia. This is a day where we honor all mother’s who are or have endured the loss of their child. If you know someone who has lost their child, please recognize them today or on Mother’s Day. They are a mother,…
The Blighted Ovum: Baby or Not?
I have been asked this question a few times. “When it comes to a blighted ovum, is it a baby or not? I was told I shouldn’t grieve the loss because it wasn’t really a baby, it had no soul.” This can be quite controversial but no matter what you believe, this loss is very…
Announcing an early pregnancy
Many women are hesitant to announce their pregnancy early. Some wait until a blood test confirms. Others wait until they see a heartbeat. Some wait until they are twelve weeks and beyond but why? Isn’t a line a line? Doesn’t pregnant mean pregnant? Here is an early pregnancy test. It was taken 11 days after…