Announcing a Miscarriage on Facebook

I didn’t realize how popular people search “how to announce a miscarriage on Facebook.” I am so sorry for your loss if you have come to this page looking for a way to announce the a miscarriage on Facebook. I too have been in your shoes…TWICE. It’s horrible.

Let’s talk for a moment though about what it means to announce your miscarriage on Facebook. First, it’s awareness. So many women have experienced this same loss. You are not alone. Many of us don’t even know that some of our closest friends have experienced this kind of loss because we are so silent about it. When you announce, you may be surprised when you find out who has experienced a miscarriage as well.

Second, you are not “untelling” something. You were pregnant and your baby died. If we say, “Nevermind, forget what I said about being pregnant,” we further stigmatize early pregnancy loss and miscarriage as something not worth speaking about or grieving. You were pregnant and experienced the most common complication of pregnancy. You did not announce too early. You did not jinx this pregnancy by announcing it. You did not make this happen.

But how do you actually announce your loss on Facebook? You can announce your miscarriage on Facebook in a simple manner or create something very elaborate. Many people simply say, “We regretfully announce that we have lost our baby to miscarriage. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we grieve during this time.” Some also say, “We are having another miscarriage,” or “We were expecting our baby on December 7, 2015 but sadly, he was born too early this morning.”

Some attach an ultrasound photo or even a photo of their baby that they birthed. I will warn you though, even though your baby is beautiful, many people are offended when they see a picture of a baby that has died no matter how early or full term your baby was. Some of your Facebook “friends” may even go so far as reporting the photo as graphic and request removal from Facebook which can hurt you so deeply.

In this case, writing out your announcement and saying, “PIC IN COMMENTS” can help people decide if they would like to view your baby. It can also prepare them and doesn’t pop up in their newsfeed to shock them in any way. I wouldn’t be shocked but I am very used to seeing babies in any gestation. The average person has no experience with this.

Here is a screenshot of how I announced my pregnancy loss with Gus.

When you decide to announce your miscarriage or pregnancy loss on Facebook, you may be surprised with how much support you receive. Most of the comments you receive will likely be positive and uplifting but there are people out there that say some horrible things. At least, we think they are horrible while they think they are helpful. Comments such as: “God needed another angel,” or, “at least you know you can get pregnant,” and “Be happy the baby died because there was something wrong with it,” can be very difficult to hear.

I recommend that along with your announcement, you also post ways friends/family can help and what to say/not say. You can locate that information here or you can link to it with your announcement. I realize that seems silly but most people genuinely want to help, they just don’t know how and giving them some direction is extremely helpful for all involved.

While we’re at it, I want to provide you with information on miscarriage as well. The Miscarriage App is an extremely useful tool as is the book It’s Not ‘Just’ a Heavy Period; The Miscarriage Handbook. Both of these resources will not only help you prepare, plan, and recover from your miscarriage, they are amazing tools to share because 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage.

I hope this post “Announcing a Miscarriage on Facebook” has been helpful. If it was, please share this post with others who wonder how to announce their miscarriage on Facebook. This is such a difficult time and the Facebook announcement can be so hard to write. If you have any additions to this post, please make a comment.