What is it like when a bereavement doula needs a bereavement doula? The night before my scheduled ultrasound, I began to panic. Over the last few days, I had become overly concerned with going to this appointment alone. All of my other appointments, up until then, I had the support of my husband and children with…
Tag: first trimester miscarriage
Miscarriage Series – The Reason
“Everything happens for a reason.” “God saved you from an unhealthy baby.” “God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle.” “You wouldn’t want a child with a disability.” These are all “excuses” we were given recently regarding why this miscarriage happened. It’s sad really. While I generally take the side of “there is a reason for everything,” it’s…
Miscarriage Series – 2 weeks
It’s been two weeks since we found out you were gone. Two weeks since that fateful day in the ultrasound room. I almost can’t believe how fast the time has gone by. It even seems as if some family and friends think I should be done grieving at this point. So few still check on…
Miscarriage Series – The Commendation Ceremony
I wasn’t sure what a Naming and Commendation Ceremony really was. After Ruby died, we were encouraged to celebrate her life and name her. We didn’t have an official ceremony but we named her. I had been to a commendation ceremony before for some clients but I wasn’t sure what ours would be like considering…
Miscarriage Series – Day 8
There is this feeling you get when you become pregnant. It’s a warm feeling. It’s a feeling only a woman can experience. It’s life within you. There is a life within your womb that has been created and can only be sustained and nourished by your body. It brings a feeling of joy and love….
Miscarriage Series – Hand and Stone Spa
Hubby scheduled me a massage at Hand and Stone Spa. We are both members there and have really enjoyed the services they offer. It was Sunday, the Sunday after Mother’s Day and we were headed to his mother’s house to celebrate Mother’s Day. Last Sunday was ruined by snow so we were doing a “re-do.”…
Miscarriage Series – Day 7
It’s been one week since we learned you were gone. Today is not a good day, not because of the one week anniversary, just because I am extremely tearful. Today, I woke up alone. Just as I walked into that exam room without my husband, so I walk today, without him. Yes, I had a…
Miscarriage Series – Day 6
Things I noticed today: I slept all night without having to go to the bathroom. My bloat is starting to go away (it just leaves my fat so I need to work on that now). I no longer have round ligament pain. My milk supply has completely returned to normal. I feel much better today…
Dear Kaiser Permanente – Your Communication Sucks
Dear Kaiser, I can’t believe I am writing about this again. After all, I thought the support and communication we received during our miscarriage was much better than our experience in 2010 but today, I learned something that is so upsetting and affects more people than just me. So let’s start from the beginning. When…
Miscarriage Series – Day 5
Groggy, dizzy, and fatigued. That’s how I feel today. I thought I would feel better but I feel way worse. My heart rate is in the upper 30’s and 40’s. My blood pressure doesn’t register on the blood pressure monitor I have. That tells me it’s very low. I hope I don’t have to go…