On October 15th, 2014 at 7pm, families gathered for a Candlelight Vigil and Remembrance at Rock A My Baby Family Enrichment Center in Castle Rock, CO to remember and honor babies who were lost to miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS and other reasons. The event was hosted by Dragonflies For Ruby in coordination with Rock A My Baby. This was the 2nd annual event where families traveled from across Colorado to attend, some traveling more than an hour to light a special candle for their loved ones. October was deemed Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month by President Ronald Reagan in 1988 but October 15th was deemed Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in 2006 through House Resolution H.CON. RES. 222 which Robyn Bear of Remembering Our Babies worked diligently to achieve.

The night began with families finding their loved one’s candle and meeting inside the yoga studio attached to the enrichment center. Families sat quietly as young children toddled around and giggled from time to time. The scent of warm apple cider emanated throughout the center.

After all the families had gathered their candles and remembrance cards, Kelli O’Brien and myself began the ceremony by thanking everyone for coming. My son, Joseph, shared his story about his baby sister, Ruby. Several poems were read before the names of 56 babies and children were announced; the names we all gathered to remember. After the names were read, a father shared the beautiful story of his daughters short life and death. It was a touching story and it was amazing to see a father step forward to share. Once his story was finished, another mother came forward to share the story of her baby who died from miscarriage. It was beautiful to have families sharing their stories. A picture was taken of all the families and then the candle lighting began on the deck to the center.

As all the candles were lit, families took pictures of their candles, shared stories, and sat in silence. The candles were placed in the form of two hearts. A small heart encased by a large heart.

As my family stood in silence, Timmy, my rainbow baby, ran over to me and tugged at my pant legs. I picked him up gently and held him in my arms. Timmy leaned in and gave me a kiss on the lips. It was unexpected and yet so perfect. My heart leapt with joy. Timmy doesn’t usually kiss anyone without prompting but somehow, he knew I needed a kiss. The night was so overwhelming and my heart was full of love for all the families that were there, I think he just knew. The tears I shed were happy tears.

After conversing with families, the event came to a close. I hesitated to blow out the candles but we needed to wrap things up and head home. As all the candles became dark, I felt humbled and fulfilled. I am looking forward to the event next year and plans are already being created so that siblings can participate more fully. Hope to see you all there next year!

– Breaking the silence of First Trimester Miscarriage

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