They’re out there. My statements from a “secret” Facebook group. The statements that haunt me about the Dynel Lane Case. At the time, I had no idea the member asking for advice was referring to the now suspect (Dynel Lane) in this horrible case. In fact, after I wrote my response (the statements now all over the news), I didn’t think much else about it. I warned the member to stay away from the suspect and warned her to get her fiancé to tell the suspect’s husband to get Dynel Lane to a therapist. I assumed she did and went on with my life.

I don’t watch the news. I had no idea there was a stabbing in Longmont. Even if I had heard about it, I don’t think I would have put two and two together. In fact, when people began tagging me over and over, it took me a while to realize that everything was connected. There were several posts and I had to read each one and then go back to look at the original to even realize that my warning, had in fact taken place.

The secret group went nuts. “Who leaked the info?” Members began speculating. Some left the group. It got nasty. I get that people are upset about information being shared but let’s be real, this was a criminal case. It wasn’t some “personal” stuff but something horrible and against the law. If members are required to keep everything quiet, regardless of the criminality, it’s not a group I would want to be a part of.

I watched as members bashed me and dragged me through the mud and also as others stood up for me; people I didn’t even know. I returned later that night to the group so I could privately thank some people for standing up for me. I had purposely not responded to any posts because I didn’t want to draw more fire but when I returned, I was unable to access the page. Banished.

I was the “last man standing” so to speak. Because I allowed the media to use my name, I had to be the “whistleblower.” It couldn’t possibly be someone else? Someone so blown away she shared it with someone else?

I contacted the group’s admin. She had reached out to me earlier that morning asking if I had shared. I explained what I knew. She didn’t trust me. She kept telling me that I wanted attention. That I was trying to “capitalize on a tragedy to get attention.” Honestly people, I dislike attention. I am a closet introvert who prefers the privacy of her home. What could I possible gain or “capitalize” on from this senseless crime? Because of her “intuition” she chose to remove me from the group [for the safety of others].

My life is very full. I have done more than the average woman has and have many accomplisments. I do not need nor seek attention. Those that know me personally, understand this about me. So, if I am an introvert who does not seek attention, why did I say “yes” to the media and allow them to use my name.

#1. Awareness

#2. Credibility for the story.

What story?

Each journalist had a different angle for their story. They needed proof of the conversation. If all involved were anonymous, this never would have been told.

1. It’s about awareness. Maybe someone who also has a friend going through the same experience will say something?  Maybe we can save another mother from going through this horrible and tragic experience. In addition, now that this conversation has come to light, the police have more information to go on with their case. I wasn’t expecting to be contacted about releasing the conversations to law enforcement, but it happened. So while some may see this as trying to get into the “limelight” and “capitalize” on a tragedy, it is not. It’s definitely not about selling books (as some have accused me of), it’s about awareness. Some people just can’t see beyond their own issues. It’s hard to believe that just the night before I was celebrating my new books release and then this happened so people think that’s my platform. How sick!.

2. Initially, I had hoped to bring to light that the husband did have suspicions months before. News reporters had previously reported that the husband wasn’t a suspect and had no knowledge. I begged to differ. He DID have knowledge.

3. Then there was the eerie warning. My words: “My concern would be for any pregnant woman being around her because if she is desperate, she may do the unmentionable and harm the mother and take the baby.” Those bone chilling words. They haunt my thoughts. No, I am not responsible but they still haunt.

4. Then the plea: “Please be careful. And at this point, I would recommend her husband take her (Dynel Lane) to a psychologist/therapist. Doesn’t matter if she is really pregnant. It’s too sketchy and he is concerned.”

I have been told that I didn’t think about the victim. This is FALSE. I think about her and her family every minute. I was concerned about how my words might make them feel. I was concerned that if these words came out, would blame be placed on me or the member in question. I WAS concerned. But, this information IS relevant to her case and I think it can be used.

I will close with some final thoughts. I told the first news reporter that I wanted to reach out to the victim (Michelle Wilkins). I lit a candle which burned for Baby Wilkins. It was all on film but never made it to the newscast. That’s the price of editing. Some comments haven’t made it in the news. Shocking, I know! (insert sarcasm). The nation has surrounded her family with love. I have my white heart and I will mail in a white heart.  #whiteheartproject I hope you will mail in your heart.

White Heart for Wilkins Baby

I cannot express enough condolences to the Wilkins family. I assure the world I did not say yes to “capitalize” on their tragedy. I am a Stillbirthday Bereavement Doula surrounded by loss on a daily basis. Their suffering is real and my heart weeps for their loss and all she will endure. I am a praying woman and she is in my prayers.

#DynelLane #whiteheartproject #longmontstabbing #michellewilkins #babywilkins

EDITED TO ADD: Longmont Police contacted me regarding this information. If I hadn’t spoke to the media, I am not sure this information would have ever been revealed. Because of this, the group in question should really reconsider what they believe should be kept as private. When someone is in danger or laws are being broken, people should be able to share this information without being ridiculed or banned. In addition, I never did mail my white heart. At the time, I felt it would be too awkward and I was worried about how the heart would be received. Now I regret it.