Dear Ruby, Your tree is now a stump. I am so disappointed. I don’t know how this happened but we suspect the new dog ate your tree and is now nibbling on the stump. I checked on your tree just 2 days ago before the snow. I was worried it had died over the winter and was desperately hoping…
Category: Emotions
Bonding – FINALLY!
I spent time with you today. It was the first time I can think of this pregnancy where I REALLY spent time with you. I had an extremely busy day, preparing meals for after you are here and I was super tired. Your daddy was so nice and drew me a bath. He helped to…
To My Little One
I feel you move inside me all the time. You kick and roll and swipe and it is the most amazing feeling ever. Most days, I am in awe by your presence but some days, I fear you will be lost; as if you will dissipate into thin air. It’s like your soul will return to dust and you…
Why Must I Worry?
It must be because I am no longer working and have more time to chat on my forums but today, I ran across a post from a worried expectant mother and she now has me worried. Ugh! I seriously shouldn’t worry about this as there is nothing I can do. This goes back to an ultrasound I…
30 Weeks Pregnant!
I can’t believe I have made it to 30 weeks of pregnancy! I have been feeling better about the pregnancy although my largest fear is that my baby will still die. I know that because of my previous loss that this will always be a thought in the back of my mind. It certainly doesn’t…
Pregnancy Viability
Well, I have made it past the 24 week mark. I prayed and prayed to make it that far but does it really mean things are safer? I ask this question all the time. I am actually 27 weeks 3 days now. I feel my baby all day long which is great but I still…
Pregnancy After Miscarriage Continued
Week 19 I hear it is absolutely normal for women who have had a loss before, not to really bond with the baby. I was told the response is a defense mechanism; one that is supposed to protect from the severe devastation and grief experience of another loss. I can understand that but does my…
Pregnancy After Miscarriage
I never thought I would be in this position. I am now over 16 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby. Its exciting and scary to say the least. I think I have gotten through the hard part though. I also haven’t blogged since we made the announcement so I will back up for you a…
Big Fat Positive!
The anticipated blog is finally here! Yes. We are officially expecting! It’s been announced at many places and I feel pretty confident but it’s still early and I have had a loss so naturally, there is some anxiety over this pregnancy. I will say the anxiety is nothing like the anxiety I had during my…
Searching
I was talking with a good friend recently about what I want to do with the rest of my life. I have several passions; helping people (mostly women), writing, and spending time with my family. For 12 years, I was so focused on police work. I couldn’t wait to achieve that dream and work as…